I always try to live my life without high expectations from others, as I believe that if we don’t expect anything, we won’t get disappointed. However, in reality, trying to live like this is of course difficult, because although we may not expect much from strangers, when we do get the gesture of kindness, it is a welcome bonus.
We may have some expectations, especially from those we love and care for, be it loved ones in family, partner relationships, friendships and even work colleagues. We often depend on each other to stand by us, be loyal and watch our back when necessary, not allowing others to say or do anything negative against us, even if we are not there, and we should do the same for them. We may depend on them to be supportive emotionally, try to understand our individual character, process of thought, requirement, judgement and action, as we are all unique.
Whether male or female, all males are not the same in thinking and action, just as all women are not the same. Yes, many men may have similar interests, be it football, cars, boxing, etc and many women may have a natural desire for cleanliness, cooking, make-up and fashion. This is of course all stereotype, almost as though there are no men or women with a crossover of interests or intellect.
There are women that can have an interest in fashion, make-up, cars, boxing, football; some can make amazing scientists and surgeons. Not all women are the same and they don’t all think the same on every single subject.
There are men that are strong, sensitive, also work on keeping things clean, they can be caring and nurturing, make great creative designers and not only in engineering as some may once again stereotype, they can enjoy cooking and also make some of the best chefs.
Men are often thought of as being more independent, adventurous, strong, dominant, sexually aggressive, less sensitive or incapable of forming emotional attachment.
Women are often associated in being too sensitive, more nurturing, dependent, irrational, getting over emotional in attachment, hopeless romantics, helpless, devious, manipulative and often unintelligent.
All this is inaccurate, as there are men and women who are broken, lost and inconsolable for years after a bereavement or when a relationship ends. But there are also men and women who just seem to swiftly process it, deal with it, pick themselves up and move on soon after. Of course, each relationship is different and the healing time may also vary accordingly; the point is, we are all authentic, regardless of gender and should also be treated with authenticity appropriately, as an individual with one’s own core values and inner qualities rather than type cast and carry transference of another. Each person has a different nature, has had different guidance and life experiences to make them act and react in a particular way.
Not all men are out there to cheat on women and not all women are running off with the next man that pays her a little attention. Not all women go to the gym, dress up in nice clothing, apply make-up or feel the need to flirt for attention. Not all men keep themselves fit, strong and build some muscle, just for getting female attention. Let’s open up our minds a little more beyond the average expectation of what some may believe or think. Let’s not be so opinionated and narrow minded.
Let’s not blame others for past experiences that may have taunted us. We are all, each truly distinct. There is no comparison, although we may all have a similarity in a possible like or interest, but our morals, standards and respect may not be the same. Don’t snap and cast judgement when you really don’t understand what makes another person happy, to live the way they do and why. Remember they are not you or anyone else, they have their own mind.
No one owes us anything in life, our expectations should be only the same in what we offer to others, if we are polite and kind, we hope for that in return, if we hurl abuse and harsh words, then we expect it in return, if we joke at others expense, we cannot be offended when it returns.
Think how you treat others – if you show no love or interest, don’t be disappointed when it is not applied to you either. Treat others how you wish to be treated respectively. We often reflect those around us.
A person who strives for perfection in others, drowns out logic, does not listen to others, wants everything done their way, believing they are always right. They often hold a high sense of entitlement and have unrealistic expectations of those around them. No one can please them as they hold unreasonable compliance to their every whim. They expect perfection, but what is perfection?
No one is perfect, agree to disagree at times and just acknowledge we are all so very different.
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
www.samsarabellydancer.co.uk
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou
