We try to do what’s best for our health in most ways, we try to eat right, sleep right, do some form of exercise, all for the good of our health and wellbeing. Yet many of us fail when it comes to mind wellbeing and its health. We get wrapped up and entangled in emotional relationships, where people pull on our heart strings; From family members who are difficult, yet we endure because they are just that, ‘family’ – if they are close, we try our utmost to work on the relationship as best we can; With others not so close, we can distance ourselves completely and just stumble across them on those occasional essential gatherings, where it can stir old emotional wounds, if we let it do so.
In loving relationships that once were, or unrequited love where it is one sided, our feelings can feel like they have been forced into a washer and spun dry over and over. The material is finally disintegrating, yet we still hang on to it for the last hope of wear instead of discarding, because it is our personal favourite. If one chooses another over you, it is foolish to be envious or resentful and dwell on it. They made their choice, for their own personal reasons, for whatever it may be, is it not better to just think, ahh well, it is their loss and let them get on with it.
Whatever is meant to be, will be. Loving is unconditional and we can’t help how we feel, but that doesn’t mean we should allow ourselves to be mistreated. This then becomes self-inflicted emotional abuse if we let it be so.
Another who knows how you may feel for them can play on your emotions, and this can play havoc with your wellbeing as it creates the rollercoaster emotions within when is it time to stop and put the brakes on, and when is it time to walk away. If it causes mental and physical pain and we can’t cope, surely it is the time to walk away.
If we can control, tolerate, or deal with the mental and emotional side with mild discomfort and there is no physical adversity, then it is of personal choice, if we can and choose to sustain a friendship.
We can love people without actually liking them and their behaviour. It is just because we find their behaviour offensive to us personally, it does not correspond with our own way of thinking or liking and we are displeased by it.
Often I wonder, when friends ask how I still speak with people after misconduct as though I have no emotions, but it is not so, I most definitely do have emotions, that I do so. I may be perturbed by another one’s flavourless unappealing actions, but I personally believe that there is just no room for hate towards another. Hate is a strong word, we can however hate or detest the behaviour of another, we can choose to accept the bad behaviour, air it to the other how we feel of it, let it go and move on from it. If it is continued and if we cannot accept the behaviour of the other, it is from this point we choose to remove ourselves entirely from another, or just maintain a friendship but with caution, knowing where we stand and what personal armour is required for our own protection.
Hate and anger holds bitterness, and bitterness manifests toxic emotions that lead to health problems. How many times are we told not to stress over things, as it can make us ill. Strokes, heart attacks, gastrointestinal problems, skin complaints and asthma are high on the list for this.
Say how you always feel, allow another to know, place the offence ball in their court and allow them to acknowledge it, and throw it back gently with respect or just keep it to themselves. We don’t need the added drama in our lives by those who are discontent with their own life and selfishly want to bring you in on it, in order to disrupt yours, regardless of how you feel, because you are selfless and not selfish like they are, where your own harmony means nothing to them.
Your personal armour is you, if you can’t cope, don’t walk the rope.

Love and Sparkles
Samsara x

www.samsarabellydancer.co.uk