Poor body image is an issue that so many of us struggle with, and it’s often a major predictor of how we’re feeling emotionally. Growing evidence reveals that low body confidence affects most of us to one degree or another. A Government Equalities report found that low body image could hold people back, stop them reaching their goals and even cause mental and physical health problems.
Finding self-acceptance when you have negative body image is hard, but it isn’t impossible. Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos shares her every day tips on how to turn your relationship with your body into a positive one.
1. Make positive self-talk a priority
Remember that nobody speaks to you as much as you speak to yourself, advises Linda. So if that self-talk is negative then it will have a profound effect on your body and your self-esteem.
“I think people don’t necessarily realise how insidious it can be, but every time you see yourself and say ‘I hate my legs’, eventually it will turn into ‘I hate my body’. And ‘I hate my body’ will turn into ‘I don’t like myself’, so you need to understand that negative thoughts escalate and what you say to yourself in your head matters. So catch yourself whenever you begin to self-talk in a negative manner.”
2. Learn to look in the mirror and focus on the positive
We’ve been socialised over the years for obvious reasons, such as the cosmetic and the dieting industry, to look at ourselves like works in progress and we’re constantly asking ourselves what can we fix or change and this is an exercise in poor self-esteem, says Linda.
“What we do so often when we look in the mirror is focus on what we don’t like. I know it’s natural, and I admit that when I put make-up on in the morning, the first thing I’ll look at is my dark circles. But what I really try to do before I leave the mirror is look at something I do like, whether it’s my hair that’s working today or my skin, which has cleared up. Or maybe look at something that makes you unique that others don’t have, like the scar you got when you were a child and what it means to you in a positive way. Don’t leave the mirror without positively focusing on something.”
3. Think about capturing moments rather than perfection
It’s important to be aware of the effect of social media on body image. Research suggests that spending time looking at pictures of friends on Facebook and other social media sites could make women insecure about their own body image.
“We spend so much time editing pictures of ourselves and applying filters before putting them online. And if they fail to get enough likes or the response we desire, we take them off and start all over again. Be aware that you are not chasing those likes and you’re able to like yourself despite the follows or retweets on social media and that you’re not editing to the point of not living up to yourself. Airbrushing existed long before digital photos, but we also had those candid photos, which were really capturing a moment rather than perfection. So maybe think about capturing moments rather than perfection.”
4. Value your body for what it does
Think about your body in terms of functionality, rather than in terms of its aesthetic value.
“We are now more accustomed at looking at our body for its aesthetic value – so we praise it for being the ideal weight, or having perfect skin or hair. But actually if you think of what your body has done for you today in terms of function, such as allowing you to run for the bus, or the way the sun felt on your head or how something tasted. Take a moment every day to be grateful for what it actually does for you, rather than trying to lose weight or to look a certain way.”
5. Cultivate your other talents
We put all our self-esteem eggs in one basket, whether it’s looks, money or success, says Linda. But we do it in the detriment of everything else we are or what we can be.
“By all means take pleasure out of being pretty, beautiful or young, but please also take pleasure in being smart, creative, being a great friend or learning new skills. There has been such a shift in self-improvement over time. In the past there were more baskets of self-worth, whereas now it seems to be very focused around weight and youth. You need to speak about the other stuff and make a point of that.”
Dr Linda’s book, Unfollow: Living Life On Your Own Terms, is now available.