Recently being surrounded by people with different views and standards than of my own, I found myself in an awkward position of trying to justify myself; I felt I was having to deal with difficult situations amongst people that I would not usually even entertain in my life. A conflict occurs when an individual’s personal interests, friendships, relationships, family, financial or social factors could compromise ones judgement, decisions or action in the workplace.
From those that I didn’t particularly ever like or care for in the first place, I wasn’t really bothered – the feeling I had was more of almost comedic with wind up entertainment, along with an added annoyance that I just wished I didn’t have to encounter them around me ever again. Unfortunately, for the sake of others I love, that are permanently involved with them, I would say my piece delicately, in the most subtle manner I could, without offending those that are attached to them. However, this did cause frustration and I had to deal with it in my own way and without any violence of course.
For those that I did care or had respect for, it was a little more difficult, because all of a sudden I now felt I was no longer worthy or respected for my own personal thoughts, feelings, preferences and lifestyle choices that give me great pleasure and make me personally happy. I felt I was now subject to the penalty of verbal abuse or punishment for having my own preferred lifestyle choice.
As we grow up and mature into adults, the majority of us mature and become self-reliant, we do things that please ourselves, we don’t expect or rely on our parents, husband, wife or other people for things, especially when we are of an independent nature and usually making our own way in life. If anyone does anything for us, it is of course more than appreciated, but there shouldn’t be a stipulation cause of ‘my way or the highway’ attitude. Everyone is an individual and as adults, should be allowed to do what happily works for them.
Expressing how one feels should not be followed with verbal abuse, or minimise and completely discard the other’s personal thoughts and feelings. We are all entitled to our own feelings and although thoughts, outlook and ideas may change, a feeling is a feeling, just like the song “the way you make me feel.”
Places, things, scent, food, activities, people and actions all make us feel a certain way, but individually so, we have different thoughts, feelings, wants, cravings, likes and dislikes – we are each unique in our way and that’s okay. Respecting others for who they are as an individual and how they choose to live doesn’t make them wrong, it’s just right for them, there is no need to bully another into your way of life – it’s their life as much as yours.
Would you allow another to dictate what you should eat, what clothes, footwear or perfume/aftershave you should wear, which house or flat to rent or buy or what car or van to drive? Of course not, because it is all personal choice and may not serve your particular purpose or what gives you pleasure. Should things cross over and you are now working together as a team, allow another’s input, either agree to disagree or find a compromise to work out a solution amicably.
Let’s not undermine other people, don’t make other adults feel like they can’t think for themselves and then knock their confidence just because they don’t do things your way, they are not children. Offer your advice and then let them make a choice.
Surprisingly, many people are quite happy just as they are, although often quite willing to make forms of adjustment for peace and quiet, to accommodate, for what may appear to be another’s eccentricities. Polite communication goes a long way, rather than being sharp and spitefully snappy.
Don’t try to lessen their power as a responsible authentic human being. Listen first, don’t be arrogant and dismiss it, think carefully for a while before you react to another feelings on a matter. Your reaction may not be forgotten and may scar another for some time or maybe forever. Agree to disagree and find a compromise.
Don’t compare me with another, I am not them, they really are not like me or like you. Don’t generalise because of gender, style or status. We are all of unique character, life experiences, personal thoughts and feelings.
Don’t judge me!
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou