Those who have some empathy may go out of their way to make others happy, but finding the balance of keeping others happy as well as oneself is of great importance for personal well-being. Many try so hard to please others that they actually forget about themselves, which eventually becomes frustrating and tiresome, with resentment following and setting in. This is then far from being good for our health, as there is no balance for maintaining a stress free calm for our mind and body.
Finding the balance is what is important, but how do we do that without worrying about offending others and then feeling guilty about it? Some new programming of gentle changes, setting some boundaries and compromise will be a good start. Learning not to be a complete people pleaser, creating your own rules and regulations to follow, creates a sense of more power over any situation, as you have then taken control back of your own life. These changes may be little, but they are important; it may be something as simple as not taking a call – if the call is that important, the person can send a message with a reason for the call and you can then decide if it is worth stopping work or coming out of a work/leisure meeting or activity. If you have a family member or a friend who’s solely reliant and dependant on you, you prioritise and take that call, however if it is someone calling to have a chat but it’s not a convenient time for you, if they have some compassion they will realise that and will wait for you to return their call when it is suitable for you to do so. Unfortunately there will always be people who have no understanding and think the world revolves around them, and that everyone should stop doing what they are doing for them.
When you first start to speak your mind or do things that work for you, you may often be considered a little selfish. Learning to say “no” or “no, not now” is empowering as you have now stepped out of the follow like sheep or slave to others syndrome. You are an independent individual with a mind of your own, make choices just as you have views and feelings on particular subjects. When you want peace, you can let people say what they want to say and even if you don’t agree, you have the choice to say I don’t agree, but that’s fine, we agree to disagree, or you can choose to say I don’t agree and actually debate it, you have that choice. So being you, and making choices to suit you personally, is important for you and your mood at that time. Use this same strategy when other people want you to do things you don’t want to do; if you don’t want to see or talk to certain people because you are not in the mood, or it is not convenient, it should be your choice, find a compromise to speak or see them at your leisure and mood of comfortability.
I was always an independent person from young, happy with my own company and not bothered what others were doing, and this followed through to adulthood. When others were making arrangements to go out as a group, be it family or friends, if it didn’t suit me or interest me, I wouldn’t just go along; in my eyes that would be wasting my precious time. The same attitude would be applied on holiday – a group may choose to do something for a day or evening, and if I didn’t like the idea, I would go it alone, and if others wanted to follow, then they could do so. If I followed others, my holiday would be spoiled as I have wasted precious time doing what others wanted, that is then not creating my own happiness.
Find your balance in work, rest and play, balance and juggle comfortably the people you want to be around, prioritise what is important for your wellbeing, be it work, home, relationships, fun and adventure. Create your own harmonious package bundle that works for you. You are your own creator of happiness, your own creator of health and well-being. Do not put yourself in stressful situations unnecessarily. Stress can create headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, skin conditions, asthma, depression, anxiety and linked to many accidents.
Make time for you. If the calls are not urgent or convenient don’t answer them.
Find and make relax and pamper time for you. Recharge your body with plenty of quality sleep.
Spend time around people that make you happy and are positive. Don’t spend too much time around negative people that drain your life energy. Keep it limited and preferably at a time when you are in the mood to deal with that negative source, without it destroying you own positive energy source.
Do the things you love to do, that give you pleasure, with work, hobbies etc.
Appreciate and have gratitude of life itself and with the beauty it has to offer in nature.
Be happy and healthy!

Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou

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