The festivities are definitely on, and for many, we are celebrating in most unfamiliar ways. I also could not be with many of my friends or some family members that I would normally see at this time of year. Though some of those people, who are within my bubble as it were, had asked me to join them for Christmas, I decided to decline. I thought it was going to be a day of catch up TV and movies, and my own choice of menu – I was so wrong; the phone was constant, with kind friends ringing to check up on me. I am indeed blessed to have such kind and caring people within my matrix of gems. The phone was non-stop, and I didn’t get a moment to watch movies or even get any luxuries done in home baking. In fact, the only time I had a break was when the phone battery had drained out, a few times, and had to be charged throughout the day.
The days followed with Boxing Day and the next, with some more phone calls. It then started to become exhausting, especially when a particular someone had rang, and although had asked how I was, and how my Christmas went, without actually letting me complete a sentence, started talking about their own Christmas and that of the disappointment with their family. I noticed that as always, I was never permitted to finish what I was saying, and they would continue to switch the conversation around and talk about their own version or issues. I had noticed this before, with a few particular people, and in honesty, when I would see the caller ID, I would have to brace myself for what would be a one sided conversation, and I would only get to listen. Why bother calling I wondered? On this occasion, this one sided conversation had become tiring and had almost spoilt the previous day’s blessing of wonderful communication. So as I had enough of not being able to communicate, I simply politely said “sorry I have to go” and put the phone down.
All this made me stop and think. I questioned myself and hoped that I did not behave like this. Uplifting friendship is a two way conversation. If we ask a question, we should ask a question because we genuinely want an answer, it should be because we are interested in what the other person has to say, and we should stop and listen. I am one for details, and when I ask something, I like details – in my eyes it is like one telling a story or writing a script. Without detailing, it would not give you the full picture of what the story is about. So if someone is telling me something, I like the full story, if something is missed, one has to ask a question to get the full picture, and in order to do that, you need to allow to hear an answer. Those who don’t allow for answers, don’t really sound very interested at all, in anything but themselves, and then it all appears to be superficial.
This type of friendship or relationship is not healthy or good for the soul, as it is one sided. It will merely drain your energy as you are becoming a source for someone to just ‘off load’ their anger and resentment. They may ask for your advice, but only LISTEN because it now involves them. Uplifting friendships are a two way conversation as it is about listening fully to one another, absorbing what is said, sharing any advice with some thought involvement and possible hope for resolving a solution or at least being there to actually listen to one another.
I believe a lesson can be learned from all situations. It has made me re-evaluate a few things that I need to deal with. I would like to think and hope I am thoughtful, as well as being a good listener, because I love to listen to fun, loving, kind and caring people. I know sometimes I have to jump in and say things quickly before I forget them, but I make sure I try to get back to the original path of conversation and am evidently interested and want to listen to the answer.
It a simple test, when you choose a gift for someone you love, be it Christmas, Birthday or Anniversary, how do you know what to pick for them? Well hopefully if you were actively listening, you will know. Somewhere in a conversation, they will mention their likes or dislikes, a personal clue will be there. How many of your friends or family remember what your likes or dislikes are? How many know what your allergies are, or you, theirs? Who actually remembers what you have said in the past? Who was listening when you said you liked a particular food, drink, flower or item? What was in that Christmas parcel? A personal thought is worth more, it shows you took note. It is not about the monetary value, it is about the thought of listening, sharing and caring about one another. Christmas is a time for giving and one of the greatest gifts of all, is that of sincere friendship.
Uplifting conversation is a two way conversation. So let’s stop and LISTEN to one another!

Love and Sparkles
Samsara x