Where’s the onboard cash machine? Why can’t you open the window and give us some air? If the captain’s in the loo, who’s driving this thing? Flight attendants are routinely asked the silliest questions and hear the most ridiculous complaints.

Our fantastic network of Cabincrew.com readers have kindly shared some of these, via the website and our Facebook page, so here is the full collection for you to enjoy. If you have heard a weird request from a passenger while working as cabin crew, please post it as a comment below and we will add it to our collection of weird and wonderful passenger needs!

• “Where’s the onboard cash machine?”

• “Why can’t you open the window and give us some air? It’s really stuffy in here.”

• “If the captain’s in the loo, who’s driving this thing?”

• “My children are getting bored and fidgety. Is there anyone in the cabin crew that can do magic tricks?”

• A gentleman complained of a headache on a Milan flight and asked what the dull whirring sound was. When told it was the jet engine he replied: “Tell the captain to turn them off because my head is really sore.” He went on to threaten making an official complaint “as our terms and conditions did not state how loud the engines were during the flight”.

• One customer coming into London was worried about Heathrow being so close to Windsor Castle. He asked if cabin crew could arrange for the planes not to fly over the castle in the future in case the Queen found it a nuisance.

• One stewardess heard: “Why am I getting such a poor mobile phone signal? This flight is going to be really long and I’ll be bored if I can’t use my smart phone.”

• Flying into Nice, south of France, one cheeky passenger asked a stewardess if the pilot could “go a bit further down the coast so we can have a look at Monaco”.

• A group of ladies on a budget airline flight to Amsterdam kicked up a fuss because there were no free drinks. They left a comment saying: “Please could you have a wider choice of free wines, particularly champagne and Cava as this would make the journey much nicer.”

• An elderly gentleman flying from Australia was disappointed that the flight attendants weren’t attractive and sexy enough. “They were much prettier in the adverts, so the flight has not lived up to my expectations,” he complained.

• “I was hoping to see the Grand Canyon but these clouds are in the way. Please can you ask the pilot to fly a bit lower?”

cabincrew.com

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