When we are young, we will often take criticism to heart and absorb what people say as the truth. Surely it must be so because that is what they see, right? Well actually, NO!
As children, when we are told things by adults, we naturally believe it is true because we assume they will tell us what is correct. As we get older, we learn that not everyone tells the truth; people have their own views, can be vindictive, spiteful – putting others down or allowing another to have their confidence knocked. It will dismantle any self esteem and allow the other to feel better and superior; like that of a bully, a leader, or someone who abuses their authority.
Most of us will have encountered this at some point. We hope that we have learned from it and that we do not have to put up with any more of it, or allow it to be a part of our daily life. Unfortunately, life is not that simple and we will encounter this over and over again. It is down to us to make sure we learn how to move away from this behaviour of others and to raise our own confidence in order not to be bothered by other people’s thoughts and actions.
Starting from within is the first step. Learn to have respect, be happy and love yourself. Do not allow other peoples’ words to destroy you. Most people are not fully happy with themselves in the first place. You must remember that beauty is from within. Being happy with yourself oozes and radiates confidence, sex appeal and self worth. This attracts others towards you. They want to be a part of what you radiate.
Liking yourself is not only about appearance; of course making the best of yourself, in order to look great, smell great, is what will add to your confidence but appearance is just the packaging, it should not be the first priority, after all, have we not all admired someone who seemed good looking, only to be disillusioned by their lack of personality or overconfident arrogance? Being humble and grateful for all that you have and have been blessed with should be first. If you have all your limbs, a body and brain that functions, this is the greatest gift of all, and enough to give you the confidence to achieve all you want to do. Even with ailments, disorders and life threatening illnesses, trying to do the best with what we have is a good start.
I work with many artists and many get out and do their job and no-one knows what they may be suffering with. They just want to do their job and entertain others. Don’t think other peoples’ lives are perfect and yours is not. People are just people; it is how you handle things that make the difference.
Try to balance everything and treat your body like a temple. Have your luxuries but don’t over indulge everyday in cake, alcohol or whatever else it is that you like and do. Whether you choose to do a weekend or occasional treat of indulgence is up to you.
Remember the fact that feeding the body correctly feeds the brain – its fuel also. The brain will be able to handle everything it needs to do more efficiently, so coping with any silly people or behaviour is handled better, rather than flaring up over less hazardous situations unnecessarily.
Be happy from within and make the best of each moment as much as you can. Everything is a test of resilience, so if people say things you are not amused with, laugh it off. Have your rant and rave for a minute. Share it with someone close, then let it go. One step further is to totally ignore what others think and say. Become strong enough to let them think and say what they like but when they say anything directly to you, then be heard with your voice and opinion on the subject matter. Say what you have to say diplomatically. This can often be very entertaining when enlightening people with attitude or ignorant people and those who are weak and are the followers of others, rather than seeking to find out the reality of truth and making judgment of their own. If every celebrity took to heart the negative stories created about them, they would achieve nothing.
People often offer their advice on subjects that they don’t even know much about, it may be something they heard or read without knowing the facts. If you feel you are being fed useless information, one can always politely reply, thank you, I will look it up and seek further advice. You can filter all irrelevant information and use the information you want out of it. It also makes them look stupid later on, when they do find out the truth.
I find it amusing when people have made a judgment on another by appearance or actions, only to find the person had a completely different lifestyle to what had been expected.
As we mature, become more wise, become comfortable with our body and learn to be happy with our own personality and company, the power of attraction will be stronger towards other people who are likeminded, and you will be able to tune in to your own intuition of good and bad judgement.
In general, people will say what they want to say anyway, so live, love and enjoy your life for you. Life is now. Others don’t have the right to judge you unless they have walked in your shoes.
Love life no matter what! Everything happens for a reason, even if you can’t see it at the time. Look back and see the thread that has brought you to the path you are on now, or will be ahead. Take the rough with the smooth in the circle and cycle of life.
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
