It seems that every year, the gearing up to Christmas tends to start earlier and earlier. Before we even barely get past summer, Halloween or Guy Fawkes parties and events, almost everywhere you go, the Christmas decorations and music are forced upon you. Well that may be ok and exciting for some people who want to start planning, how, who, what and where, with family and/or friends, however, spare a thought for some who may have lost loved ones, have limited or no family and they may be, sadly, alone.
Christmas for some may be stressful because they may have family or family friends they don’t particularly adhere to favourably, yet are manipulated into having to be around them. It may for them be the most difficult time of year, so all that preparation of where to be or who to be loyal to without armour and confrontation of the undesired or for the thought of dining in alone for one, it can for some be a stressful time of year, while for others a most joyful.
I am and feel indifferent. I have family and friends but if I just don’t want to be somewhere, I will decline the offer without guilt or hesitation and have on occasions chosen to spend a birthday or Christmas on my own, since I would rather do that than be with people I don’t want to be with, if I couldn’t be with those I would have liked to be with for whatever reason. It is not because I have a shortage of friends or family to be with, but purely because I am selective of whom I choose or want to spend my valuable time with at any time.
I strongly believe in what Christmas stands for but I will always be and follow where I believe will be peaceful and tranquil for my own sanity. After all, Christmas is about The Birth of Christ, peace and joy, so key to choosing where to spend it should be the place you feel peaceful and gives you joy.
So it is up to you if you choose to go to church and then be with the selected people of your family or even circle of friends that have become a family to you. It is always important to do what is right for you, to remain in a calm state without guilt, stress, or anything that can cause anxiety and illness.
Conforming to other peoples’ wants and needs all the time and sacrificing your own, in order to please them, will only breed resentment in the end which will eventually result in a possible future disagreement.
Should you really have to see people you don’t particularly like much, or talk to people you don’t wish to, it is easier to see those types of people in small doses with other people in noisy crowded situations, where there is so much noise and distraction that you don’t have to actually hear or listen to them. One can avoid eye contact as much as possible or learn the fine art of ‘Gaze Through and Pass Beyond’ technique of poker face, where one cannot tell how, or what you are seeing or feeling. It works a treat. Make your own way to the place or event so that you do not have to endure any more than you wish to!
If unable to avoid a situation, then compromising on plans and time allocation can work effectively for a peaceful negotiation in dealing with awkward people.
Learning to be happy with yourself, your own company, along with learning to discard negative feelings and just feel indifferent on all, will put you in a much happier place in your mind and for your wellbeing. It is almost like laughing it all off.
Do whatever you need to do to stay relaxed and calm in all situations. Prepare your mind with a respond and coping strategy. Find ways to meditate. Use meditational skills that work for you. For some, this may be Yoga, Meditational Dance, Tai Chi, drawing, painting, pottery, sewing, baking, reading or just going for a walk.
There are endless lists of what you can do to help you unwind in your own little world of calm practice. Find what works for you; it may be that you like more than one, so do what you are in the mood to do at that particular time and convenient to where you are. Just be YOU and always do what YOU want to do!
All these can be done while you listen to relaxing music or even meditating to tranquil sounds of the sea or a forest – whatever makes you happy!
Learning to be happy with yourself and enjoying your own company and personal space is important for the mind, body and soul. It allows for deep inward contemplation and personal positive growth.
Relax and just be you!
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
